Story Planning
"The oldest princesses returned to her love.. and Bhisma didn't care. So why kidnap them in the first place. The 2 princesses that stayed seems unwise. Amba belonged to Bhisma but why? He could never marry. Amba kind of did ruin her life. Her anger was a little much though. Why wasn't she more mad at the kind brother. The fight scene is intense. They cannot kill each other, so Bhisma's will prevailed. "
I liked this part of the Mahabharata. I like the idea that Amba "belonged per say to Bhisma, but Bhisma WOULD NOT BREAK his vow to celibacy. I think her revenge plot comes out of a place of hurt which is not fair but makes for an interesting story.
I want to write where Amba actually marries another man who she convinces to kill Bhisma because of rivalry. Little will the new husband know, Bhisma cannot be killed.
There will be a battle scene that I could potentially later make into a gun fight scene although I had not originally intended using any of these characters in my storybook.
OR, what is Amba has a daughter with a new man and constantly uses her to seduce Bhisma until he gives in, and he dies immediately?
I also like the idea of writing about the 3 brothers who Bhisma trained. One of those brothers could end up being one of they boys in Tombstone in my storybook. I have to be careful not to over-introduce characters because I want the readers of my storybook to feel like they have an understanding of the characters I do write about.
I wonder if it would be too difficult to cross reference a lot of characters.
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Renaming of Devavrata to Bhisman reminds me of Paul to Saul in the Bible. Bhisma stealing princesses. That is intense. He could've just asked some girls if they wanted to marry a king."
This part of my notes reminds me of Mario when browser always steals the princesses. What if Bhishma took 3 girls from Tombstone and Rama or someone has to go hunt down Sita who happens to be one of the sisters. That could be cool.
Image Information: Oath of Bhisma
Author: Ramnadayandatta Shastri Pandey
I may be incorrect but I believe that it is King Pandu that cannot lay with a women not Bhishma. I do not really remember why Bhishma doesn't want wives but I think it has something to do with a prophecy or something. You have a good story idea but you need to go back and make sure you have all the base line facts correct. Sorry if you are correct and I didn't really give you any advice on the story.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kalen that you might be thinking of King Pandu for the story. I think that you have the potential to make this a great story and it seems that it will be a good read. Cannot really tell now because this is just a story planning but I may stop by next week and give it a read through! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYour story planning posts are always the most interesting to read, because your storybook premise and all the different ways you can play with it are so fun. I love the idea of Amba getting her new husband to try to take down Bhisma as revenge, because it both tracks with the characters from the Mahabharata and their motivations, but also feels so Western. Though tying in Tombstone with a kidnapped Sita could be a ton of fun too. Whichever way you decide to take this, I look forward to coming back later and see how the storybook has progressed!
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