Brahma loved Lya and rose her until the age of 13. Lya grew up to be beautiful, and those who knew or met Lya recognized it. Brahma was worried that he would not be able to protect his beautiful young daughter from the corrupt world. He had already had problems with the mayor showing interest. To protect her, Brahma sent Lya to go and live with her older brother named Sagu. Sagu took Lya in, and he protected her. While in his care, Lya learned many things including the importance of virtues. Sagu frequently taught Lya to understand the difference between right and wrong.
Five years later, Sagu was confident that 17-year-old Lya was old enough to make decisions on her own. He had taught and guided her well. So, Sagu sent Lya back to their father with the assurance she would not be corrupted by the world. Brahma was overwhelmed to see how mature and lovely his daughter had become. Unfortunately, Brahma was very old and ill. He was grateful to Sagu and insisted that Lya remains in his care.
Braham died shortly after.
Lya remained in the care of her brother Sagu. She continued to age beautifully, and everyone noticed. Lya was not interested in much other than her studies. After several years, 20-year-old, Lya began expressing interest in a boy, named Ryden, who lived in the city. Ryden would often meet Lya at her house to pick her up for dates to the city center.
Every time Lya and Ryden went on a date to the city center, they would pass Mayor Indra's home. Indra and his wife were very powerful city figures. Everyone loved them. Lya never seemed amused but did notice the way Indra was watchful of her.
One particular day, Lya was on preparing for a date with Ryden. Indra noticed Lya bathing on the roof and was overwhelmed with temptation. Indra approached Lya in the disguise of Ryden.
Lya was startled but flattered by the arrival of the disguised Indra. It was not long until the 2 engaged in relations. A neighbor friend noticed from her rooftop nearby. She was not fooled by the disguise of Indra. The neighbor immediately sent for Sagu.
Upon hearing the news, Sagu stormed to the rooftop and saw what was happening. Sagu was panicked and cursed Indra. Upon seeing Sagu's urgency, Lya was able to see clearly. Knowing he was busted, Indra fled.
Several days later Lya was then called to the city center. She was surrounded by all the city folk. They were all ready to punish her by death for sleeping with Mayor Indra.
Sagu was on his daily walk. He happened upon the gathering. He saw his sister and knowing her heart stepped in. Sagu convicted all the bystanders of their wrong doings. This got Lya off the hook. Sagu told Lya there are better ways to live life than awaiting the company of a man. He then encouraged her to make better decisions. Sagu warned Lya, if you do not take my advice, you will be turned to stone and left with only your thoughts.
Then Lya went in search of a better life.
Authors Note:
The Ramayana was the main source for this story. I wanted to capture the parts of the book that jumped out and were familiar to me for particular reasons. The story in which I created this story is from Ahalya's Story. I found it so interesting and felt it paralleled to other stories in different ways. For example, the story parallels with Beauty ad The Beast as well as the story of King David and Bathsheba. I wanted to capture those parallels and tell the story of the Ramayana's characters and hearts with the frame of the story of David and Bathsheba where King David sleeps with married Bathsheba. I also paralleled the ending of the story in the Bible in which Jesus tells those who are without sin to cast stones at a woman who had committed adultery. I am not creative and rely heavily on influence from other stories.
Every time Lya and Ryden went on a date to the city center, they would pass Mayor Indra's home. Indra and his wife were very powerful city figures. Everyone loved them. Lya never seemed amused but did notice the way Indra was watchful of her.
One particular day, Lya was on preparing for a date with Ryden. Indra noticed Lya bathing on the roof and was overwhelmed with temptation. Indra approached Lya in the disguise of Ryden.
Lya was startled but flattered by the arrival of the disguised Indra. It was not long until the 2 engaged in relations. A neighbor friend noticed from her rooftop nearby. She was not fooled by the disguise of Indra. The neighbor immediately sent for Sagu.
Upon hearing the news, Sagu stormed to the rooftop and saw what was happening. Sagu was panicked and cursed Indra. Upon seeing Sagu's urgency, Lya was able to see clearly. Knowing he was busted, Indra fled.
Several days later Lya was then called to the city center. She was surrounded by all the city folk. They were all ready to punish her by death for sleeping with Mayor Indra.
Sagu was on his daily walk. He happened upon the gathering. He saw his sister and knowing her heart stepped in. Sagu convicted all the bystanders of their wrong doings. This got Lya off the hook. Sagu told Lya there are better ways to live life than awaiting the company of a man. He then encouraged her to make better decisions. Sagu warned Lya, if you do not take my advice, you will be turned to stone and left with only your thoughts.
Then Lya went in search of a better life.
Authors Note:
The Ramayana was the main source for this story. I wanted to capture the parts of the book that jumped out and were familiar to me for particular reasons. The story in which I created this story is from Ahalya's Story. I found it so interesting and felt it paralleled to other stories in different ways. For example, the story parallels with Beauty ad The Beast as well as the story of King David and Bathsheba. I wanted to capture those parallels and tell the story of the Ramayana's characters and hearts with the frame of the story of David and Bathsheba where King David sleeps with married Bathsheba. I also paralleled the ending of the story in the Bible in which Jesus tells those who are without sin to cast stones at a woman who had committed adultery. I am not creative and rely heavily on influence from other stories.
Image Information: Bethsabée
By: Jean-Léon Gérôme
Source: Wikimedia
Sources:
https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/English-Standard-Version-ESV-Bible/
First of all, wow. I thought it was pretty cool how you incorporated and paralleled different stories into your story. I really like your writing style, and I liked how you developed the plot with a modern twist. (Turning “Ahalya” to “Lya” was a great idea!) I also read your story planning from week 2, but I was wondering why you didn’t include some more of your ideas to make the story more suspenseful. I liked your stalker idea for Indra’s character for suspense you mentioned. I was thinking, what if you added that into the story or at least expanded on Indra’s infatuation for Lya? Indra could remain a mayor, since it is a great twist in the story, but maybe you could make him more “devilish” by having him have a reputation for sleeping around, which may explain why he wanted to sleep with Lya in the first place. I think it might make a great addition or whatever else you would want to intensify your story.
ReplyDeleteYour writing style throughout this story was really well done Ali! I liked the incorporation of more modern terms with the still traditional elements such as the punishment in front of the whole town. But by using words such as city center the story felt more modern and relatable to me in a sense. I thought the suspense throughout the story was extremely grabbing and made me interested in reading through the whole story to figure out what happened to Lya. I was not expecting Sagu to be able to help her in the end which I thought was a great twist to what the reader was expecting to happen. The story was really well written and I thought that it was captivating. I can't wait to read more from you this semester because this story has me really excited to see what you write next!
ReplyDeleteI definitely saw where you drew the inspiration from for this story and the ties were interesting to read about. I didn't know that the parallels existed until I read the author's note, so that was really cool! I also enjoyed how you had a modern twist to the story while keeping up with the ties to the original story.
ReplyDeleteI really love how you’ve taken your favorite bits and pieces of the Ramayana and woven them into something new—they fit together perfectly, resulting in a story that manages to feel familiar without being predictable. Updating it to a modern setting was a really nice touch, and you gave just enough of a glimpse of each character that I’m intrigued by all of them and would be curious to read more about them. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteHi Ali! Not creative? Not true!! I think it takes a lot of creativity to link and connect all the stories that you did and make something out of them. It's awesome that you drew from the Bible story and also Beauty and the Beast. Two very different stories, however alike enough for you to link them! I loved this story and think that you are a great writer! Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really like the ending parallelism to the Bible. I immediately thought of the story of Bathsheba when the story stated that Lya was bathing on the roof. I feel that a lot of stories parallel the Bible. As a reader of young adult novels and fantasy novels, I notice pattern correlative to bible stories, specifically those stories having to do with the supernatural. I like how you modernized the Ramayana story.
ReplyDeleteAli, what an interesting story! I liked that you took inspiration from so many different stories. It made it a interesting read! One small thing, Brahma was spelled "Braham" in the line that states "Braham died shortly after." I was suggest maybe giving more details about Mayor Indra to show that he's a bad guy. You could maybe write a sequel to say what happened to Lya!
ReplyDelete